Um yeah so WHAT NOW?!
Yeah I almost set my apartment on fire… In fact it still smells like smoke 3 hours later and I have 5 fans running as well as all the windows and doors wide open.
So here is what happened: I love potatoes. All shapes and sizes. I don’t discriminate.
When I moved in, my lovely mother bought me a microwave potato baker. (I know you’re thinking what?? Here is a picture of a similar product http://www.inthecountrycollectibles.com/images/pbmary.jpg) So this thing gives you baked potatoes in like 5 minutes in the microwave. My parents have one and we have used it for years. So I was super excited when my mom was able to find one at a
crap craft fair. I have used it before just fine! So I washed my potato off, wrapped it in a paper towel (like the directions told me) and stuck it in the microwave for 4-6 minutes. (I did 5 minutes, so in between, like it says) I’m getting together the other things for dinner and holy buckets! My microwave is smoking like a campfire you just threw water on! I immediately open the door to the microwave and holy smokes! It’s on FIRE!!! Legitimately on fire. There were flames (little ones, but still…) My first instinct is to grab my shoe and stomp out the flames. So I do. Then I run and move a fan to the kitchen because again, Holy Smoke! And then I grab another because Holy Smoke.
The thing is still smoking and burning. I grab my State Farm silicone oven mitts (shameless plug for Daddy, you’re welcome) and run the thing outside to the deck. I leave it there and maneuver the fans to blow the smoke out of the apartment. I then realize, as my eyes are watering and I’m coughing smoke, that my darn smoke alarm has not gone off. What the heck? Obviously I’m going to die in my sleep while my apartment goes up in flames sometime in the future. The thoughts that run through my head ladies and gentleman. Anyway, I check the smoke alarm… Yep, they work (my ears still hate me) and I’m like okay what ever, moving on.
I went to check on the burning potato baker on the deck and it’s still burning! Like low coals on a fire. So I run and grab a pitcher and fill it with water and dump it on the thing. (Why I didn’t do that in the beginning you ask? I don’t know. Apparently I don’t think in a completely rational manner under pressure. It finally went out and I stomped on it again just to be safe and what do I find?? A still uncooked potato…
Shaking my head as I walk away, my stomach growls reminding me why I wanted the baked potato in the first place.
Whatever. I’m getting take out.